Perceived Perfection

Recognising the work of Australia’s volunteers feels particularly important during this year’s National Volunteer Week (Monday 18 May – Sunday 24 May 2020). Many of us have leaned on the support of volunteer-led services as the coronavirus pandemic and its repercussions have threatened our mental and physical health, as well as our livelihoods.

Mr Perfect is a grassroots charity hosting monthly BBQs run by volunteers across Australia to encourage better mental health in men by creating a sense of community and reduce isolation.  Everyone is welcome at the BBQs which are attended by men from a range of backgrounds, professions and age groups, although most attendees are aged between 25 and 60. 

Hosting a BBQ and cooking up some snags is arguably one of the more enjoyable forms of volunteering but the work of Mr Perfect’s volunteers couldn’t be more important. Roughly one man engages with a mental health service for every three women who do the same and men accounted for 75 percent of all suicides in Australia in 2017.

Terry Cornick, Mr Perfect Founder and CEO, says everyone in Australia is aware that this is an epidemic, yet taking action is still not where it should be, yet.

“We aim to take action by creating a community where men can meet socially around the BBQ each month and give them ample connection to others, and at least a chance to stave off isolation.”

Cornick created Mr Perfect after struggling with his own mental health. 

Photo of Terry Cornick, CEO and Founder of Mr. Perfect

The organisation’s name comes from Cornick’s close mate teasing him about seemingly having it all, when moving from the UK to Australia but in reality he explains that he was going home feeling hopeless and at times suicidal.

“Mr. Perfect is ironic, sarcastic, and can represent the mask that men wear, as well as a nod to society’s expectations of men.”

Cornick says he had struggled with mental illness for a lifetime.

“Remaining silent, until finally at 30 I made some changes brought on by the decision to marry, thinking about having a family and my dad passing from addiction struggles,” he says.

When he visited a GP he was offered a specialist and medication. Through this experience he identified that the support available for men tackling mental health issues was lacking an informal, social side. 

Cornick realised he wasn’t alone in needing a social initiative to help manage his mental health.

He read Beyond Blue and Movember’s Men’s Social Connectedness report which illustrated that after hitting aged 30 men's social interactions and connections diminished rapidly. He also spoke to close friends about his struggles and they acknowledged they had faced similar challenges.

Cornick and his friends used football as a way of connecting and started advertising social kick-abouts for anyone to attend which later became the BBQ meet ups. He explains the BBQs are a non-clinical environment and none of the attendees are expected to tell their story. 

“If they do not even speak and just listen and enjoy the company, that is a great start.”

Photo of Mr. Perfect BBQ 2019.

“We aim to be ‘pre-crisis’ where possible, so our BBQs would ideally be one of the first places men may venture to feel comfortable about eventually gaining professional and clinical help if needed. However, sometimes they just need a mate to listen and that's enough.”

With BBQ meet ups out of the question due to coronavirus restrictions the groups have been connecting for ‘Online BBQs’ hosted over Zoom on Sundays. 

“Any guy can join in and some of us are cooking in the background on the BBQ while chatting about the world!”

On Thursday nights, Cornick hosts The Reconnection Hour, a livestream show where he interviews guests including mental health professionals or special humans doing good things in the grassroots sector of mental health.

Mr Perfect’s website also hosts an anonymous forum for men to discuss mental health issues. The platform is monitored by mental health professionals 24/7.

Cornick’s celebration of Mr Perfect’s amazing BBQ Hosts isn’t confined to National Volunteer Week. 

Volunteers regularly receive shout-outs on Mr Perfect’s social media platforms and the organisation has recently started providing volunteers with training and extra skills if they request it. 

Photo of vounteers of Mr. Perfect

“We have a tiny budget but we are a lean charity so we have made a conscious effort to look after our volunteers, be that the BBQ Hosts or the guys behind the scenes that help me hugely”.

When asked about any stand out initiatives actioned by Mr Perfect’s volunteers Cornick’s acknowledged that all of the BBQ hosts are lovely, selfless people, but one person in particular has stood out.

“Andy in regional Victoria has taken it a step further than the BBQ and now holds weekly catch-ups with a few of the guys in his area and they have formed an incredibly tight, supportive friend group, that are there for each other weekly in the good and bad times.”

Fittingly for a man who works hard to help others going through a difficult time Cornick’s favourite quote is from Martin Luther King Jr.

”Life's most persistent and urgent question is, 'What are you doing for others?”

A quote that also most likely resonates with Australia’s volunteers who give up their time for the benefit of others. 

Interested in getting becoming a BBQ host for Mr Perfect?
Get in touch by following https://mrperfect.org.au/pages/start-your-own-bbq

Find out more about Mr Perfect at www.mrperfect.org.au

WORDS: KATIE TIFFIN
PHOTOGRAPHY: TERRY CORNICK, BRUCE MARS ON UNSPLASH